What The Bible Has To Say About Fatherhood

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4

As we prepare this weekend to celebrate Father’s Day, I’m grateful that our Heavenly Father took the time to include instruction in His Word about how we as fathers can best parent our children in a godly way. So today, as we look at Ephesians 6:4, we’ll get some great advice from Paul on how we as earthly fathers can emulate our Heavenly Father in our relationships with our kids.

Paul starts today’s key verse by telling fathers not to exasperate their children. The word “exasperate” is a very strong word. It means to “provoke anger” or in today’s language we would say, “Don’t do anything to light their fuse.”

So what does this look like practically? In the spirit of what Paul said, let me share with you four things never to do with your children. First of all, don’t aggravate your children. Has this ever happened to you? You aggravate a child. You make him angry and then out of his anger he pops off and says something disrespectful and then you punish them because they were disrespectful when you started it to begin with! That is exasperating your children, and it’s something we need to be cautious of as parents.

Second, don’t humiliate your children. Don’t ever publicly embarrass your children; it can cause more damage to your relationship than you realize. Instead, we should be diligent about building our children up and affirming them, especially in public.

Third, don’t frustrate your children. Don’t start unnecessary arguments. One of the most important things parents need to learn is that not every hill is worth dying on. As your kids get older, there will be plenty to debate and discuss that needs to be debated and discussed and can be done so with passion and conviction. But don’t ever create a hill to die on that is not worth dying on.

Finally, don’t intimidate your children. Don’t push your children to be something they don’t want to be or can’t be. Don’t try to live your life through them. Let them choose their own path and their own careers. If you have been guilty of doing any of these things, I would encourage you to do what I’ve done. Go to your children and ask forgiveness in those areas where maybe you have failed as a father. Model for them what it is like to give children gracious affection. And let them know you are going to try to do better moving forward as you strive to be more like your Heavenly Father.

Dear Lord, thank you for modeling so well what it looks like to be a loving, gracious father. Help me to emulate your fatherly characteristics and forgive me for when I’ve fallen short in my parenting. Please give me the patience, understanding, compassion, and guidance I need to parent in a way that honors you. In Jesus’ name, amen.