Thoughtfulness

“Let us go out early to the vineyards and see whether the vines have budded, whether the grape blossoms have opened and the pomegranates are in bloom. There I will give you my love. The mandrakes give forth fragrance, and beside our doors are all choice fruits, new as well as old, which I have laid up for you, O my beloved.” Song of Solomon 7:12-13

I wish King Solomon and his wife could lead a marriage retreat for every married couple in the world, because they leave no stone unturned. When it comes to communication, they’ve got it down. In Song of Solomon 7:12-13 Solomon’s wife expresses that she wants to go out and gather some fruit and flowers, bring them back, and create a beautiful atmosphere for them to spend time together. How thoughtful!

One of the things I have learned about marriage is how important the little things are. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to be romantic. You don’t have to do a lot of big things to show your spouse that you love them. It is amazing how little things can be like throwing a bucket of kerosene on a match. A love note left on the bed, a text sent saying, “I love you,” a card given for no reason, or flowers sent for no special occasion. Ronald Reagan mastered this aspect of romance unbelievably with Nancy. On Thanksgiving Day, he wrote this note and put it on her breakfast tray at the White House: “You are the whipped cream on the pumpkin pie of life! And boy am I a dessert man!”

If you want to improve your marriage, ask your spouse what one thing you could do for them that would communicate and demonstrate your love for them. Then do it. Nothing is dynamic unless it is specific and nothing is tried until it is applied. So I am going to ask you to do something. If you are married and truly want the kind of marriage that is God’s will, commit to doing these four things for the next week:

1. Talk to each other uninterrupted for an agreed-upon amount of time
2. Do some type of activity together
3. Show each other some type of physical affection at the beginning of the day, the end of the day, and at least one time in between
4. Do one thoughtful thing for the other that is totally unexpected

There is a magic wand that can be waved over your marriage. It is called the love of Jesus.

Dear Lord, thank you for my spouse and for the marriage you have gifted me with. I ask that you would help me this week to show love in thoughtful, meaningful ways to my spouse. Give me the opportunity to love them selflessly like you have loved me, and remind them of how much I love and appreciate them. Amen.