Talk the Talk

“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7

One thing is true of all happily married couples…they talk in the right way and use the right words to communicate their love to one another. Song of Solomon gives us a wonderful example of communicating love through words. What wife would not want to be told by her husband that she is “altogether beautiful” and that there is “no flaw” in her? Swoon.

Communicating love through talk must go beyond just well-spoken flattery. Obviously Solomon’s wife had flaws, as we all do. But to him, she was perfect…and he wanted to make sure she remembered that. Through his loving words, Solomon is affirming his wife. He is showering her with praise. He is telling her exactly how he felt about her. And when he loved her in this way, he led her to do the same. “How handsome are you, my beloved! Oh how charming!” she tells him in Song of Solomon 1:16. It is important for husbands and wives to talk to each other in ways that are uplifting and encouraging. It is also important not only to say the right things, but also to say them in the right way and at the right time. Loving words should be spoken daily, not just on Valentine’s Day and anniversaries.

Far too many marriages have gone silent. There are two types of silence in a marriage – a sweet silence and a sour silence. The sweet silence is born out of comfort and familiarity. It is the ability to enjoy being together without always having to talk. Then there is a sour silence that because of anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, or pride the couple builds a dam that stops the river of communication from flowing in their marriage. There is nothing worse than failing to communicate at all.

No marriage can survive without the oxygen of verbal communication. If you shut that off you will begin the process of strangling and choking the love out of your relationship. No matter how hard it is, or how much work it takes, keep the lines of verbal communication flowing.

Dear Lord, thank you for all of the encouragement you give us in your word. I pray that you would help me to encourage my spouse and lift them up in a loving way. Give me the discipline to hold my tongue when needed, and give me the opportunity to use my words in a positive way in my marriage. Amen.