Loyalty

“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Proverbs 12:26

Psychologists once asked a group of college students to jot down the initials of people they disliked. Some of the students could only think of one person. Other students listed as many as fifteen. What is interesting is the students who disliked the largest number of people were themselves the most widely disliked.

One of the most important aspects of healthy relationships begins with self. We must be likable, and teach our children to be likable, because the more likable we are, the more likely we are to be liked by others. One of the best selling books of all time was written by Dale Carnegie and entitled, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” In that book he wrote this, “You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” We must teach our children that they are not the center of the universe. The natural inclination is always to be selfish; so we must train our children to think of others and not only themselves. This is the first step in making good friends…learning to be a good friend.

In Proverbs 12:26 God reminds us to choose our friends carefully. That word, “choose,” in the Hebrew language refers to a man that would search out land that he was thinking about buying. It was a person who was exploring and evaluating whether or not the land was worthy of an investor. We need to teach our children not only how to be the right friend, but how to choose the right friends.

There are, of course, different levels of friendship. People are not pieces of property. Everyone is worthy of kindness. Proverbs 12:26 refers to the deepest level of friendship. These are the people you put in your inner circle. These are the friends you seek out for advice and who have the most influence on you. We must choose these friends carefully.

Let me caution parents to never teach your children that they should not associate with kids who don’t believe what they believe, or live life exactly as they do. Jesus was a friend of sinners and we should be as well. We cannot reach unbelievers with the Gospel if we refuse to associate with them. In these types of friendships, however, we must make sure we are doing the influencing rather than being influenced.

Dear Lord, I know that loyalty is one of the greatest traits we can have as your children. Please give me the opportunities to emulate loyalty so that my children can learn what it looks like to be loyal in their own lives. In Jesus' name, amen.