Blessing or Burden

“Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given you under the sun; for this is your reward in life…” Ecclesiastes 9:9

Everyone who is married wants to have a storybook marriage with a fairytale ending. We want to live happily ever after. The reason we have that desire is because God has that desire for us. He designed marriage to be the most fulfilling earthly relationship we can have – second only to a personal relationship with Him. Any time two people get married it is God’s will for that marriage to be a happy union. Unfortunately, marriages often feel more like a civil war.

God never intended for marriage to be a burden that is endured, but rather a blessing that is enjoyed. But anyone who has been married for more than a couple of years will agree that building a happy marriage is easier said than done. There is no magic wand that can be waved over marriages to fix them. But there is one key in every marriage that will determine if it is healthy or not – that key is communication. I believe this is the one factor above all others that will make or break a marriage.

Communication involves more than just words. If husbands and wives are going to learn how to communicate, they are going to have to learn to do so with more than just words. In his lifetime, King Solomon wrote more than 1000 songs. One of them, Song of Solomon, is a love song about how a husband and wife can communicate love within marriage. It is a no-holds-barred look at the type of communication that will keep the flames of love and romance burning brightly.

In this Song, Solomon describes four different ways of communicating love within marriage. First, use talk to communicate love to your spouse. Second, use time to rejuvenate love for your spouse. Third, use touch to demonstrate love to your spouse. And fourth, use thoughtfulness to illustrate your love to your spouse. When communication is healthy in these four areas, it is possible to live happily ever after.

Dear Lord, thank you for my spouse and what a gift and blessing they are to me. Help me to communicate lovingly and effectively in my marriage, and grant me wisdom and discernment as I strive for healthy communication patterns in this relationship. Amen.